Woo, finally got this site's code in a state where I'm willing to put it online!! I've been working on this on and off for a few months now, and while it's not perfect, I've come a long way since when I started coding so I'm not complaining! Since this is my first post on here, I'll give a little background about myself and my experiences with website coding.
I am a chronic procrastinator. I made my first site on here back in January 2020, and it took me until June of that year to actually put anything substantial on it. I later updated again in August, and intended to make one in September, but... that just never came along! It's gotten to the point that I've changed quite a bit since I first made it, and I'd just like to start over. Also the coding on it sucks. But don't get me wrong, I like it that way! It's my blindingly 90s-looking nerd site and I love it for that. Regardless, I think it's better left as it is (well, unless I finish that update that was supposed to be for sept. 2020, that is).
... Anyways! Now on to what the second bit of the title is about. I shall now be complaning about an, I guess now ex-friend of mine acting completely... ??? stupid?? ridiculous??? (also I wrote this part yesterday so the dates are slightly off.)
Let's set down some background info. This story involves me and two others, who I'll call Ramona and Maia. I met both of them in ~Sept 2017, but we never really spoke back then. We were all part of the same... let's just call it a social group, I guess? And we'd have discord servers where we would all join and chat with the others from the group. Everyone there was nice for the most part and we all got along fine (also for the most part). I came out as nonbinary to that group in March 2019, which everyone was accepting of. Ramona ended up leaving the social group in 2019.
This pretty much begins in April 2020. One afternoon, Ramona asks me to talk to her in the discord server's voice channel, and she tells me... that she's gay! And her family is preeetty homophobic. And since I'm the only openly LGBT+ person she knows, I'm pretty much the only person who she's safe to talk to... problem is, her parents saw when I came out and they're worried that she'll catch The Gay:tm: from me. So, we figure out a solution: we keep a secret server that she can leave and rejoin when she wants to talk. So... we do that, and we get along really well! We talk a lot, play animal crossing together, etc.. This goes on for months. At one point in September, I had a reason to talk to her, but I can't talk to her directly, so I had a mutual friend ask her to come talk. She did! And we chatted a bit. But eventually, she stopped replying to me and... didn't reply until morning. And she leaves. And then a week passes, and I haven't heard from her. And then a month.
I was so worried that she'd been found out. That they'd seen since she didn't leave until the morning. That they'd seen the chat with the mutual friend. So... Since I really didn't have any other way of talking, I sent her letters in animal crossing! Once every few months or so, I'd send one asking if she was okay, maybe with a gift, too, and... no response! And I'd seen her online via my switch friends list, so I know that she must have seen them!
So, eventually, we arrive at September 2021! A year has now passed since I last heard anything from or about her. People are getting back to meeting up in person, and I get the chance to ask Maia how Ramona's been. She says she's been fine, that she has an instagram now! So I'm like ":0 oh send it to me later I miss talking to her please", and she says she will! But Maia forgets things like that sometimes, so... that doesn't happen. Months pass. Jump to a few days ago, May 4th. We meet up at that social group, and she tells me and another friend about an event she's going to in case we want to come! And tells us that she'll send us the info later over discord because she left her phone at home lol. So, the day goes by, and before I leave, I go to remind her to send us the event stuff and ask about Ramona again.
I go home. Some more hours go by. Maia still hasn't sent anything, so I send her a message about the event info + Ramona's instagram again. The next day, she gives them to me, and... I send Ramona a follow request and a message! I leave it alone for the rest of the day.
I haven't gotten anything from her the next morning, so I check and... she's blocked me??? No response, no anything, I'm completely confused. I ask Maia about it, and our conversation goes like this:
maia — Yesterday at 12:48 PM
Ok I guess she doesn't want to talk to you, I asked
me — Yesterday at 12:49 PM
Oh! Did I do something that bothered her, or...?
maia — Yesterday at 12:49 PM
Honestly I'm not sure
me — Yesterday at 12:53 PM
Huh! We got along really well, so I'm kind of ???
maia — Yesterday at 12:55 PM
Hold on she said she'll talk with you
You should get a message from her soon- maybe on instagram, im not sure where
me — Yesterday at 12:55 PM
Oh okay!
5 minutes later, I finally hear from Ramona, for the first time in a year and eight months.
"hey [name], so i just wanna let you know that i'm just not talking to a lot of people right now and i like to keep my life private. it's not personal, i do this with people i've known for years. when a boundary is set (maia not giving you my ig the first few times you asked, or me blocking you) please do not continue to pester. i will be blocking you immediately after sending this message, so i won't see any responses. i wish you the best"
WHAT THE FUCK.
There are so many things to say about this, I don't even know where to start?? Ignoring someone for a year and an eight months and then blocking with no explanation isn't "setting a boundary", that's just being a bitch! And it's not like she was unable to tell me any of this until now, she could have had Maia tell me, she could've told me before she blocked me, she could've sent me a letter in AC! Asking someone something three times over the course of 8 months and then wondering why you were blocked with no explanation isn't fucking pestering! I was the only person who she had to talk to about a major aspect of who she was because she was in an unsafe situation to be open about it and she acts like THIS??? And look, I'm going to respect the boundary that she finally actually fucking set, I think it's fine that she's keeping her life private right now. She probably has things that I don't know about going on. That does not change the fact that the way that she acted was unbelievably shitty! If she had actually told me, actually set a boundary at any point over the last year and eight months, I would've understood and left her alone! But she didn't say anything! She just left me in the dark and I had no fucking idea what was going on! I was worried! I was confused! I missed her! I thought she missed me! But I guess fucking not considering what happened!
So, yeah. First entry, 10% background + 90% what the fuck! Since I put a comment box underneath this, you should be able to comment and share your thoughts if you want. Hopefully you are also baffled but if not that sucks for you.